http://pilotingpedagogies.pbwiki.com/Felesha-Peer-Review-by-me
http://pilotingpedagogies.pbwiki.com/Patti%27s+peer+review+of+Felesha%27s+draft?SearchFor=patti&sp=15
http://pilotingpedagogies.pbwiki.com/Rich-feedback3
After reading my peer reviews I feel like no one has looked at the content of my interview and my narrative. I find that some of my reviewers only looked at fonts and grammars. I understand that messy things can be distracting but understand that sometimes the mind does not work in perfect sentences and times new roman. As this is a project of progress reviewers need to be aware that the first narrative is rough and patchy. I also found that some people didn't understand the transition of interview to narrative. I think had they focused on content more and less on grammar they could have picked out the language that I was using to connect the interview to the narrative.
Felisha, I know you just posted your final version, but I wanted to register a few responses, here. Your introduction captured my attention--you are charged with recruiting new members, but at the same time, you need to maintain continuity. This is a very interesting dilemma, one comparable to the difficult to anticipate and difficult to measure transaction costs that go along with technological change within all sorts of organizations. There's a lot of opportunity, here, though. Let's start with wiki, as you propose to do. Beyond trolling for new members, and broadcasting the date/time/place for the next gathering, what else can wiki and similar social technologies (like flickr, youtube, etc) do? bowling-where is it where is it gowing what now
I've pasted a bit of your text, below, for two reasons. First, I like this sequence. Second (surprise!), I am compelled to interrupt it! You say
"The internet is the perfect way to attract members and a younger generation.This technological wave can connect us with the national office and other senates and keep our bowling community abreast of everything that is happening in the St. Petersburg Senate. This was all fine and well but we still have an olde generation to consider"
Rather than moving right to your interview, you might consider breaking into your draft at this point and situating the the dilemma by a) defining your case work (interviews, plans, research) in relationship to a trend, or as critical or paradigmatic, and b)referencing a body of literature that could inform or be informed by your process ("community literacy," or "generation gap," or "diffusion of innovations"). This way, you open up a little more space for reflection, for pulling in a small literature review, and for making connections between your observations/experiments and other texts. Does this make sense?
ShareRiff
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Tomeka:
Maybe a marketing plan?
-objectives/mission
eg "are you selling a product?" or do you seek to create/raise awareness
search for templates in other leagues. Are there existing narratives about navigating into new territories.
-schedule an event
-old/new compare/constrast
survey-->might lead into further interviews-->objectives
might also create formats/genres for document
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