Disclaimer: I do not believe that I am qualified to grade other student's writings as I am still learning how to write myself, but for the sake of this assignment I will proceed and be as fair as possible. - Aldijana
After reading the paper I was clear on his point of the TV influences on babies, children, and young adults. The tone used was the right tone considering the audience which are parents and individuals that do watch television. Paul has written a very informative paper and I have gotten a lot out of it. I think he has incorporated his research well into the paper and backed up his statements. Overall, I have enjoyed reading his work and have learned many things that previously I didn’t know about, such as the effects the TV has on babies.
I give this paper an A. Job well done, the thesis statement came across well.
Finally a video game that actually benefits people! I have enjoyed the piece and learned a few things, such as what the game can all be used for. It is a fun way to uplift spirits and get active. I like the idea of helping the elderly get their motion back. Great description on how the Wii works and what it does. It would have been great if my physical therapist had the Wii when I had my leg/ankle injury and was on crutches for 3 months last year. I give this paper an A.
I really enjoyed the writing, especially the second half of it. You had me hooked with the Second Life story and you described it so well that I just wanted to keep on reading. You are right, reality comes to each person individually, what I may see one way someone else may see it another. I give this very engaging writing an A.
Well I finally found out what “Halo” is! It sound like a game well made that let’s you practice before you go out there to get yourself killed. The paper looks like it must have taken you hours to research and put together all of the information and definitions, but I didn’t see enough citations or credits. I liked the paragraph that went over the definition of dopamine, I just enjoy such definitions. The paper itself has a great discussion feel to it, and as I read it, it made me want to comment on it. “children who play violent video games become less physiologically aroused by real violence” I actually agree with that statement and would go one further into adding violent movies to the list. Grade: A
Sue's peer grading paper one
Michelle's paper was enjoyable for me to read. I felt that she gave details about how the game is played, and gave analogies. I would give this paper an A
N8's paper was interesting to read that Superman was one of the first superheroes brought into the comic world; Batman was introduced to help with sales. I would give this paper an A
Aldijana- I found your paper engaging and informative. I did not find that 30 hours a week for students to be on the computer to be to much. I am always on my computer doing assignments. Typically, I spend 25 hours a week on assignments. I would have liked to see more on the bullying topics. In recent news, a woman posing as a teen befriended a troubled teen. She at first was saying nice things to the girl, then she went the other way, saying not so nice things. Anyway, it lead to the girl killing herself. The woman was not charged with a crime-sadly. I would give your paper an A
Unit 2 peer reviews for rough drafts
N8's world of mystery Found your paper fun to read, but a little short. I really enjoyed reading about comics, and the strife between the two companies. I could make the paper a little longer though.
Causal Assignment - Rough Draft- Paul I was unsure of your thesis. This part does not make sense to me: They are causing behavior problems by the way desensitizing and by leading to aggression or harmful behavior. Was this the thesis?
Dylan Adams' Page Interesting...steroid use can lead to charitable donations! Did you use different fonts? It appears that way. Would probably make it only one font type. Also, change this part it doesn't make sense...Each league is working on ways to improve the game and but most have fallen short. Otherwise, great paper.
- Well thanks but you just errased everything that I have done to my page. I will restore my page to where I left it and copy and paste what you wrote on the bottom, this way you don't loose your writing. - Aldijana :)
Here is a link back to your page... Sue
Anyone know where to find the page that has the standards for each grade written on it? I am curious and would like to look at that before I start peer-grading. I like your disclaimer Aldijana. Thanks, Lydia
Sue Unit two reviews
Aldijana Another great paper written by you. It's hard for me to believe that some predators engage in sexual contact right away. I also can not believe that some predators obtain a toll free 800 number to be used by their potential victims. I have watched MSNBC "To catch a predator". It amazed me that many predators are in really great jobs such as FBI agent, doctors and even one preacher. Grade A from me.